Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A possible disaster I didnt see happening?

If I could take it all back, right now, I would. I'd take back the $25 I spent submitting an application to South By Southwest and the time I spent filling out their application, which I never even heard back about. I'd take back the additional $60+ I spent submitting to related festivals that week, both of which are still so far up in the air that it makes planning a trip around them nearly impossible. I'd take back the tickets I already got for the trip to Dallas, I'd take back the time I've wasted contacting bands, venues, and looking up information to make this trip possible. I'd take back telling the other guys the times and dates I'd worked out, and if I did take that back, I wouldn't get the flak I got for them having to take a week off work (I do, too, and a week off school). I'd have focused on Boston, played a good show here, and then when we're really there, when we're really a touring band with the backing and support, we'd go to South By Southwest in Austin. Not this year. But we are, and instead of being a WHOOHOO, it's a lackluster yay.

But now, we are not this band with support and backing. And I can't take back these things. And for all the planning (in the midst of not being able to plan), I realize that this trip isn't going to happen as I thought it should.

I think this band should be a band going to Austin to see what happens. I think we should play Dallas/Ft.Worth, then head south and hit as many venues in as little amount of time as possible. People are everywhere. But it's easy for me to have that attitude: I have very little to go back to in Texas, beyond some scattered friends (I don't even have a place to stay arranged yet, or a mode of transportation).

Meanwhile, two other members of the band DO have people to go back to. Their families. Assorted friends. They'd like to spend time with these people, which makes sense. But I've been planning this trip like a business trip -- trying to pack as much into it as possible, because we're going to be there, so why the hell not?

I don't think it will cost that much more money, and even so, I expect the band to be somewhat on its feet by then. The only money it really costs is the plane ticket, which I've already got.

I can't go to Dallas to "hang out" -- ditto Matt (and Chris and Fritz, if they choose to come). I'm paying for school I'm missing, I'm losing money from work I'm missing, and all I want to do is play as much as I possibly can. If that happens, then it is all worthwhile. But one show here, another there? That's not enough.

I am working very hard to make this trip more than last year's trip to Dallas. It shouldn't be hard -- last year, we simply played a tiny club to a handful of folks and a house party. This year, it's realistic that we'll be in Austin. I'm almost certain we'll have 1-2 good metroplex shows, to boot. But I want more -- even if it sucks -- to seem like we really got our money's worth (Waco? San Marcos? College Station? All of these areas are en route, or close by, and we know folks in them. I feel like we could play an additional couple shows there).

But I need to know if everyone else wants to do this. This might be a homecoming, and I don't want to get in the way of anyone and their family. I'd never want to do that. But I overlooked the fact that some would see this more as a trip home than a band trip. That's selfish of me. At the same rate, I couldn't ask Matt to take a week off work and not follow through with the goods in Texas.

Quite the conundrum.

Either way, it's happening and we'll have to see what happens as it all comes together. For now, I'm not slowing down, I'm going to keep trying to make things happen. I have to.


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